


Dimensions

by hazyilluminations



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Donna Noble - Freeform, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Jackie Tyler - Freeform, Martha Jones - Freeform, Micky Smith - Freeform, Pete Tyler - Freeform, Tony Tyler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-29 14:37:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5131244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazyilluminations/pseuds/hazyilluminations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor left Rose and his human counterpart on Pete's World without even a goodbye. Will Rose ever heal from her emotional trauma? Will she and Tentoo ever develop a relationship that will last? </p><p>Picks up after Journey's End.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The wind whipped around her hair as she stood, her hand clasped around his. His hand tightened around hers as they watched the TARDIS disappear. They listened to it's comforting strum; it's final farewell. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes as she dropped his hand, turning away. She choked back a sob, clutching at her sides. The doctor had left her, again. The trials she had completed, endless days trying to figure out a way to see him again, all for nothing. It still ended up being the same; The Doctor without Rose.

She fell on her knees, sinking into the soft sand of Bad Wolf Bay as she let out little whimpers and sobs. She felt a hand, his hand, rest on her shoulder, and she jerked away from him instinctively, still not quite used to this new doctor. She turned her head to look at him and saw the hurt in his eyes as he withdrew his hand. She looked away and wrapped her arms around her torso, trying to comfort herself.

"He's gone, Rose," he said, his voice frustratingly even.

She let out a frustrated sob and began to cry even more. Finally, he knelt down to meet her at eye level and tipped her chin upwards, meeting his gaze.

"Hey now, look at me," he said, "He's gone now. You've got me though," he offered, his eyes soft and vulnerable. He smiled a little.

"I meant what I said, just a minute ago. It's what he was thinking as well," he said, his voice low and quiet.

"You mean it? You're not just pullin' some cruel joke on me?" she said as she choked out a laugh, grimacing when she realized how morbid that sounded.

His eyes grew wide and his mouth opened and closed several times, before he shook her, hard.

"Of course I meant what I said! Who could not love Rose Tyler?" he asked, his eyes warm and his smile teasing. It painfully reminded her of what her doctor looked like, how he looked at her. The momentary glee she had felt at his words was now gone. She looked away from him and blinked. The dull ache in her chest had returned, and she was annoyingly aware of how empty she felt. Alone.

He cleared his throat and stoop up as she watched him, unsure of what to make of him. He gazed across the bay, his features sombre and cool. He looked down at Rose and held out his hand for her, his lips tipping into a hesitant smile. She looked up at him, her expression crestfallen and purely, utterly, heartbroken, and took his hand.

"He left me," she whispered, her voice cracking.

The Doctor reached out for her and she jerked out of his reach. Suddenly she was fuming.

"All that bloody time I spent trying to find him, all for nothing! He left me here, on this Goddamned beach, for nothing," she seethed, staring at the doctor with such anger that he couldn't help but feel a little meek.

"All that bloody time! I told him I loved him and he…he couldn't even say it..back…." she trailed off, her voice breaking with anguish. She buried her face in her hands, her shoulders slumped.

"Why couldn't he say it back?" she whispered, looking up at the doctor, her eyes watery and her cheeks stained with mascara.

"Oh, Rose," he whispered sadly.

He gathered her up her in his arms and held on to her tightly, whispering sweet words in her ears, telling her she was brilliant, and kissing the top of her head. He felt anger, true anger well up inside of him. Both doctors knew that Rose was the best thing that could have happened to them after the Time War. She was their salvation, their shining light in a time of darkness. The doctor and Rose had always had a special bond, something they never put labels on, no matter how frustrating it could feel. They were together and properly in love. The Doctor gave Rose Tyler everything that the universe allowed him to give, except three words.

Why couldn't he just have bloody said it back?

 

He held a small object in his hands, roughly the size of a small mouse, staring in wonderment as he felt a little tickle in the back of his consciousness. He smiled and shook his head slightly, watching the way the TARDIS coral hummed and glowed, purring in his hand. He felt it caress his mind slightly, but not nearly powerful enough to be noticeable to anyone but a Time Lord. He gave a laugh and tucked it back into the pocket of his blue suit. His head snapped up at the sound of footsteps.

Rose walked through the doorway, her blonde hair slightly damp from the shower, and her face fresh and clean of any makeup. The Doctor felt his heart beat slightly faster, something he wasn't used to. Humans bodies are so much more responsive, he thought. He shook his head lightly, clearing his thoughts.

"Doc…Um..?" she started, unsure of what to call him. It felt wrong calling him 'Doctor'; it hurt too much to remember her doctor. The one she was in love with.

"Rose?"

"Yes?"

"You could call me Doctor, if you like…but if it feels…odd, you could call me John Smith if that works for you?" he said, his features strained, his tone overly optimistic.

She fiddled with her hands and looked at the floor, feeling uncomfortable. She shook her head.

"It doesn't feel right. That's not you though, really, even if you aren't my doctor," she said, voice quiet.

He flinched at 'my doctor'. He felt a stab of pain in his chest, cursing this bloody human body, and his inability to mask his feelings easier. He slumped slightly and nodded his head. She looked at him and pursed her lips.

"I'm sorry, I really am. You know, that, don't you?" she questioned, her voice tearful.

"It's not your fault, Rose. I know it's hard to understand, but I am exactly like him in every way. We share the same consciousness, the same memories, the same everything, even the same anatomy," he said, timidly.

She blushed a little bit. The same anatomy? Did he mean…he was exactly alike…everywhere? Stop that, Rose, she thought. Not even the right doctor, and she was still lusting after him. It was this new regeneration, this cheeky little flirt.

"Anyway," she started, "I just came here to ask if you will be staying here for awhile. Or, if you might be traveling somewhere…that would be fine too," she said, her voice developing that odd tone whenever she felt uncomfortable or nervous.

The doctor stared at her for a long moment, and said,

"Rose, I know this hard, I do, but if you don't want me here, I could always leave, if you want," he offered. His eyes were wide and vulnerable, cutting right through her resolve like a knife. He could always melt her willpower with just one look.

She shook her head fervently and stepped closer to him, looking panicked.

"Don't go!," she exclaimed! Embarrassed, she continued, "I just meant that, this is weird for me, yes…but I don't think I could bear losing someone again, even if I don't quite know how I feel about this yet," she said, gesturing between the two of them.

He breathed a sigh of relief and closed the distance between them, relishing in her embrace. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and began to sway her back and forth, trying to comfort her and alleviate some of her distress. She let out a little cry and buried her head in his chest, her shoulders shaking as she cried. Suddenly, she was clutching tightly to him, clawing at his sides, trying to pull him closer to her, trying desperately console herself in his arms.

"I just missed you so much," She said, her voice wobbly and her cheeks wet with tears. Her voice was muffled through his shirt, and he pulled away slightly to look at her properly. He grasped her shoulders and gave her an intense stare.

"I love you, Rose Tyler. You're the only reason that I can get through...through," he stumbled, "Through this mess," he said, his voice slightly shaky.

"And I know you aren't ready for me, but I will always be by your side, until the end of my days, if you'll have me," he said lowly.

She nodded slightly and rested her head back onto his chest. They both stood there, embracing and crying, never wanting the moment to end. For, if they let go, they would suddenly remember where they were, who they were, and the confusing reality they had to face. They stood for what seems liked hours; him holding her, her clinging to him. And for a moment, Rose truly believed that she could come to love this Doctor, the new one, no matter how wrong it might seem.

 

The Doctor stood with his hands on the console of the TARDIS, feeling utterly and completely alone for what seemed like the millionth time. He had just dropped Donna back at her house, with her grandfather and mother. It was just moments before that he had said goodbye for the last time, and was met with a dismissive reply. It wasn't her, though. Not the Donna Noble he knew, not his best friend. She would get there, though. She would become brilliant again. This, the Doctor was sure of.

The TARDIS hummed it's usual song, melodic and sombre. He stroked the console and murmured,

"I know, girl. I miss them too."

She hummed in what felt like disapproval, and he felt a presence in his mind, reprimanding him.

"I can't always say what I want to say, and you know that," he weakly protested.

She hummed in pity and sympathy, and he felt her soothe him, presenting him with a banana smoothie on the console.

He smiled lightly and let out a little laugh, picking up the glass and taking a sip, feeling a teeny teeny bit better.

"You always know how to cheer me up, don't you?" he stated, his tone still passive and sad.

She hummed in agreement, and left him with his thoughts.

900 years of traveling through time and space, 900 years of mistakes, and 900 years of trying to learn from them. He always got himself in the same situation though, no matter how hard he tried not to. It was his weakness, his need to interact with other beings, his need to feel less lonely. This was a cycle that would always be repeated. He would find someone to share this, his whole world with, and they always went away. They either wanted the life he had too much, or not at all.

Over the years, he had had his fair share of companions, loads of brilliant people to bring onboard the TARDIS. He had relished in their company, in their ability to see everything for the very first time. He loved to look at the childlike wonderment that always overtook their features. They were always dazzled and seduced by the thrill of adventure that the Doctor brought forth. But in a way, they all left. Even though he knew their promises of forever were not as earnest as they meant them to be, he couldn't help but feel heartbroken every time that exact promise was broken.

It wasn't their fault. Humans are fickle, and enigmatic while somehow being completely predictable. The Doctor supposed that this was why he loved them so much; they were so sure and fierce and passionate, he was sure that there wasn't anything in the universe that could quench their thirst for living.

His thoughts wandered to Rose, to her perfect, dazzling smile and the way her eyes would crinkle at the corners when she was happy. Her joyous, lilting laugh would haunt him for the rest of his life. Had he been any other man, he would have told her what she wanted to hear, what he wanted to tell her. He would never have left her. Alas, he was not that man. He was the Oncoming Storm, the last Time Lord in existence. No matter how much he wanted Rose, he knew he could never have her completely. He was completely alone in the universe. He knew it was cruel, and selfish the way he had abandoned Rose, but it was the only way he knew how to leave her with the least amount of pain.

He left her without a goodbye, without even telling her he loved her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had already written this chapter, so I figured that I might as well just post it :) I'll try to post once a week, maybe more! :)

“DOCTOR!” she screamed, her voice anxious and pleading.

“ROSE! DON’T LET GO!” he roared, his eyes locking on to her, begging her to keep her hold. 

She felt her grip beginning to loosen and a frantic panic settled in her chest.   She held on for as long as she could, really, she did.  But her grip began to slip and she could feel an indescribable defeat overcome her.  With a shriek, she let go, and her vision went black.

She awoke with a start, panting heavily.  She sat up in her bed and wiped the sweat off her forehead.  She tied her hair up and fanned herself, still not quite over the aftershocks of her nightmare.  She suddenly felt the familiar wetness on her cheeks that she always felt every night.  In an instant, shock turned to grief and she began to sob quietly, wringing her hands through her hair and shaking, back and forth.  The pain was overwhelming and surprisingly fresh; whenever Rose thought she would stop aching, it started up all over again.  She sniffled pathetically as she realized that it would never go away, the never ending pain. She would always feel heartbroken over the Doctor’s abandonment.

Wiping her tears, she swung her feet off the bed and made her way to the kitchen for a cup of tea to sooth her.  She brewed it twice strong, added some milk and stirred.  She looked longingly over at the tub of sugar on the counter, feeling wistful.  Rose had promised herself to never drink her tea with sugar, not without the doctor.  Everything around her brought forth odd memories, memories she had thought she tucked away to the back of her mind.  She couldn’t bear to think about his little quirks, little things he did that he didn’t notice, things that just somehow made him him.  

She snapped out of her daze, shaking her head slightly, disposing of the spoon and placing it in the sink.

“No Sugar?” a voice said quietly

She jumped, startled at the sound of his voice.  She clutched a hand over her heart and turned around.

“You gave me a fright,” she said softly.

He raised an eyebrow, a look so utterly and completely like the Doctor that she had to look away briefly.

“You always take your tea with sugar, did you forget to put some in?” he asked, slightly perplexed.

She shook her head and replied, her tone flat,

“No.  I like it better without it,” she said, slightly indignant as to why it mattered.

He chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly as watched her.

“You’re still rubbish at lying, Rose.  I guess things haven’t changed too much,” he teased.

She felt the tips of her ears go pink in embarrassment and she shook her head in denial.  

“I am not! You’re just too bloody observant, always ‘ave been,” she said, smiling slightly.  

They stood there; him with his arms crossed across his chest, and her, hands wrapped around her mug of tea.  He took a step closer towards her, his face just inches away from hers.  She looked up at him, her warm hazel eyes gazing into his chocolate brown ones.  

“The question is,” he stated, reaching out his hand to trace along her cheekbone, and she felt her cheeks warm at his touch.  She fell into a trance, his trance, and leaned in instinctively until her head almost rested in the crook of his neck.  He moved his lips just above her ear, and whispered,

“Why haven’t you put sugar in your tea yet?” He asked.

He stepped away from her and looked at her, his expression uneasy as she snapped out of it.  She cleared her throat. 

“I can’t bring myself to, after, you know….” she trailed off, unsure of what to say.  

He stared at her, willing her to meet his gaze.  He gazed at her pityingly, just realizing what she was about to say.

“He always had a sweet tooth, didn’t he?” she asked, laughing a little bit tearfully.

“Still does,” he answered, “I still do.”

She looked down at her mug of tea and continued,

“It just feels wrong, like it's some twisted form of betrayal.  When I think about him, my chest gets tight and I feel like I can’t breathe, Doctor,” she said as she gripped the counter, her knuckles turning white.  She looked up at him, her eyes large and teary, and her face strained.

“It…it feels like I’m dying, Doctor,” she said, her voice shaking.

She held out her hand and gestured towards herself, her hand curling into a fist just above her heart, struggling to articulate how she felt.

“It feels like I’m goin’ insane, just thinking about him makes me crazy, it…it…makes me feel like I can’t breathe,” she whimpered.

“When will it stop, Doctor? When will I stop feeling like my heart has been ripped out my chest? When will I forget about him?” She asked, finally slumping against the counter as she cried.  

He touched his cheek and noticed he was crying as well, something he was not used to.  This body, and it’s ability to express itself was incredibly strange to the Doctor.  He wasn’t sure what was appropriate anymore, or how to act.  He knelt down at her, his voice equally as weak.

“I don’t know, Rose,” he said honestly.

He held his hand against her forehead and frowned.  He inspected her from head to toe, giving her a good look before saying,

“There’s nothing physically wrong with you, Rose.  I don’t know what’s causing you to feel so ill,” he said, looking quite confused with himself.

His eyes widened in understanding as an idea suddenly popped into his head.  He shook his head.  No, it couldn’t be, he thought.  That’s just not possible at all. He looked into her eyes and put his hands on her shoulder, forcing her to meet his gaze.

“Rose, I don’t quite know how to put this,” he trailed off.

“What? What’s wrong with me?” she demanded.

“You and me, before…we were bonded telepathically,” he started, waiting for her to give him permission to continue.  She nodded eagerly, her expression tense.

“It’s what happens to everyone I meet,” he explained,”I bond with everyone.  It just so happens that the bond tends to be stronger the closer I am to a person, or if I love them,” he said, scratching his neck awkwardly.

“And?” she asked, blushing at his last few words.

“And…The Doctor…the fully Time Lord one…is severing the bond,” he said remorsefully.

Rose felt like the breath had been fully knocked out of her lungs.  She looked down and shook her head, confused.

“Why would he do that? Why would he want to be disconnected from me?” She asked, sounding angry.

He looked away and murmured,

“Because, Rose, if a Time Lord establishes a strong telepathic bond with someone and is somehow separated from them for a long period of time, the connection starts to become harmful.  It will kill him, and you, if he doesn’t sever it now,” he continued, “It feels like your dying because a part of you is, in a way.  The bond that we had is perishing.  You’re consciousness is dying without him,” he murmured.  

She stiffened, rubbing her head and clenching into a ball.

“So he’s severing the bond to save me? What’s it gonna do to ‘im?” she asked, sounding very small. He sighed, suddenly feeling very mentally exhausted.

“The TARDIS and him, they’re connected, you know that.  If he’s dying, she’ll start to die too.  He’s doing it to save both of you,” he said, sounding defeated.

“I said,” she started, “ What’s it gonna do to him?” she asked, her teeth clenched.  He screwed his eyes shut, and when he opened them to look at her, they were filled with unshed tears.

“That pain your feeling, it’s gonna feel like that, but one hundred times worse.  His body will think that he’s actually dying.  He could even regenerate if the pain is too much to bear,” he whispered, his unshed tears finally falling down his face.  

“You feel like your dying because you are, Rose.  You’re dying,” he said, his voice breaking.

“At least, you will be, until he severs the connection completely.  And when he does, it will take awhile to heal from it.  It’s important that you know that I’m here,” he said through his tears.

“If you don’t fight, your consciousness will give up and you will die, Rose.  You can’t give up,” he said, his voice suddenly pleading and passionate.  He looked at her intensely, his tears flowing freely.

She looked at him, shocked. She nodded a little, and he crushed her body into his, embracing her as tight as he could.  He held onto her as if his life depended on it, his long appendages wrapping around her waist completely as he tried to somehow pull her closer to him.  They held each other as they sobbed, unable to fathom what was happening to her.  

After awhile, when the tears had finally dried, he spoke,

“We can get through this.  We will overcome this,” he said, his voice firm and determined.  She looked up at him and kissed his cheek, nodding her head and resting it against his chest.  She listened to it’s soothing beat, still slightly unused to hearing just one thump as apposed to two.  

He was right.  Even though the pain was overwhelming, she knew that with his help she could get through it.  The question was, did she want to?  She had spent hours upon hours trying to find the Doctor, the real one, and had trained herself vigorously, willing to commit to anything as long as it meant she got to see him again.  And now, he had left her.  He left her to slowly die without him.  In a way, it made sense: she always felt a certain presence in the back of her mind whenever she thought about him.  Even during the worst moments of living in Pete’s World, she never felt completely alone.  At least, not until now.  

She thought about the Doctor beside her, trying to figure out exactly what he was.  He didn’t seem any different from her Doctor, aside from him being human and all.  In fact, he was exactly alike with the other doctor, save for the fact that he could actually articulate his feelings.  That was something that had always annoyed her; his ability to talk for hours without saying anything, just spouting nonsense.  It was extremely frustrating at times, especially when she had just wanted to say that he loved her back.  He could never say it, just like he could never say his real name.  They were sacred words, words that could only be entrusted with the right person at the right time.  Rose knew that there was a certain power to the weight of words, and that they weren’t to be said lightly, but who doesn’t want their boyfriend to tell them they love them?

She would never fully understand why he could never say it.  It was a mystery that she had no energy left to solve.  She pondered at the metacrisis Doctor’s words, contemplating them.  She certainly didn’t want to die, but she wasn’t sure that she wanted to live either.  She had lost so much.  But, she knew that dying would be giving up; the universe would have finally defeated Rose Tyler, the Stuff of Legend.  She knew she was stronger than that.  To hell with the bloody universe, she thought.  I’m gonna live.  


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think about it so far? Please write me a review telling me what you think, or what it needs! Thanks :)

The TARDIS coral hummed and glowed, it’s light soft and yellow. He held it in the palm of his hand and stroked it, looking at it longingly. With a sigh, he placed it on his bedside, pondering. What was he going to do to help her grow? He sat at the edge of his bed, deep in thought. A knock at the door shook him out of his reverie, bringing him back to reality. He stood up, making his way to the door. He gave an exploratory sniff, and knew immediately that it was Rose just by getting a whiff of her sugary perfume. He was pleased to see that his ‘superior Time Lord physiology’ was still intact.

He opened the door and saw Rose and his lips stretched into a smile.

“Rose!,” he exclaimed, “What can I do for you?” he asked, grinning.

She raised an eyebrow at his enthusiasm before speaking,

“I was just wondering if you wanted to come and have some chips with me?” she offered, suddenly a bit timid.

He scratched the back of his neck, flattered. 

“I would love to, so long as you don’t mind me buying the chips,” he said, a small smile playing at his lips. 

She scoffed, “You don’t even have any money! What sort of date are you?” she retorted. He was about to make a jab at her when he realized how familiar she sounded. It seemed she had noticed as well, taking an involuntary step away from the doctor, her face suddenly pinched tight. He cleared his throat.

“Right then, where do you want to go?” he asked, trying to keep his tone light. Despite the awkwardness that had settled over the both of them, she appreciated what he was trying to do. She at least wanted to make an effort to get to know him, maybe even to love him, before she made any decisions about her life.

“Um, I dunno, I was thinking we could head to the shops first? I need to buy some things for Mum,” she said, fiddling with her hands. He smiled brightly before nodding enthusiastically, pleased at the prospect of getting to spend time with Rose again. It had, after all, been years since they had properly seen each other, despite him being the Doctor’s counterpart.

“Anything for you, Rose Tyler. Anything at all!” He exclaimed, his face bright with boyish glee. Slightly perturbed by his behavior, she simply nodded her head slightly, and left to go gather anything she would need while she was out. 

He closed the door shut after her and realized his chest felt inexplicably warm. Slightly flushed, he noticed the center of the warmth, in the right breast pocket of his shirt. He searched his pocket for the culprit and realized what had been the source of warmth. He pulled the TARDIS coral out of his pocket, observing how it seemed glow slightly brighter than before. He set it on the floor and took a step back, observing. 

He watched in awe as it glowed brighter and brighter, glowing so profusely that he had to shield his newly sensitive eyes momentarily. After a second, the light died down significantly back to its humble glow. He stared at it, astonished. It had gone from being the size of a small mouse to the size of a small rabbit! He walked a full circle around it, closely observing it, before picking it up. He felt a tickle in the back of his consciousness, stronger than the last time they had connected.

It had grown small roots that spouted out of the coral, and they curled slightly around his hand. He chucked and shook his head, feeling a deep sense of love toward the growing TARDIS. He felt his mind being filled with thoughts of pleasantness and warmth, fluid thoughts that made his mind feel like he was being wrapped in a fuzzy, comforting blanket. He placed the TARDIS coral back into his pocket, feeling slightly dizzy and fixated on the feeling that it provided to him. He smiled and patted his pocket, and was rewarded with what sounded like a giggle in the back of his mind.

“That’s it, sweetheart!” he lovingly exclaimed. He took the coral out of his pocket once more and twirled it in his hands, slightly confused as to how she could have grown so fast. Deciding not to worry too much about it, he placed it back in his pocket.

He slipped on his trainers and trench coat, and left his room to go find Rose. Jackie and Pete had been kind enough to let him stay with them for the time being, or at least until he found somewhere else to stay. They lived in Pete’s luxurious mansion, the interior decorated with classical 21st century items. Well, not exactly classical. Not in this time period, anyway. He walked down a spacious corridor, navigating himself towards the main hall. He turned left and smacked right into Jackie Tyler.

“Oi! Just because you’re a Time Lord, doesn’t mean you can’t watch where you’re goin’!” She exclaimed, swatting his arm. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

“I was looking where I was going, you just happened to be in my way,” he smartly replied, his expression smug. She narrowed his eyes and walked away from him, muttering complaints about alien hierarchy under her breath. 

“I can hear you,” he said loudly, waggling his eyebrows. She threw her hands in the air and huffed, exasperated.

“Oh, sod off, you wanker!” she said, her back turned to him. How very Jackie Tyler. 

He laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he did so. He felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder as Pete Tyler grinned at him, looking amused. 

“She’s not pullin’ your leg too much, is she?” he teased, poking the Doctor in his ribs lightly. The Doctor laughed and shook his head, delighted to have some sense of familiarity after being alone for so long. 

“Not at all, Pete. She’s a joy,” he joked, his expression playful. Pete snorted and shook his head lightly. He clapped the Doctor on the back and smiled at him, 

“I’m so glad she has you,” he said, his eyes bright. The Doctor raised an eyebrow, perplexed.

“Who, Jackie?” he asked, his voice incredulous. Pete guffawed and shook his head, clearly quite amused.

“No, you plum! I meant Rose,” he said, a tad bit more somber. The Doctor simply just shrugged.

“She’ll come around, Doctor. You know she will,” Pete said quietly. The Doctor merely nodded his head slightly, staring at the floor. With a sigh, Pete nodded at him slightly and turned on his heel, making his way down the other end of the corridor. 

“I’m not sure I know anything anymore,” he said softly.

 

Rose fiddled with the hem of her shirt while staring at the Doctor, trying to decipher what exactly he was trying to do. He sat across the table from her, his brow furrowed in deep concentration. His classic black rimmed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose while he worked, stacking chips upon each other to form an intricate structure. He molded and squished them, trying to get them to replicate the exact structure in his mind. 

She cleared her throat and he looked up. 

“What exactly are you doing?” she asked, gesturing to the mess of chips that had piled onto his plate.

His trademark eyebrow raised, and he smirked.

“You can’t tell what it is?” he asked, his voice overly innocent. 

She narrowed her eyes at him and threw a chip at him, landing just above his chest. He gasped dramatically and gaped at Rose for good measure.

“Hey, now! I’ll have you know I’m working on something very important, Rose Tyler,” he huffed. He picked the chip off his shoulder (quite literally), and ate it. She scoffed at him and he gave her one of his trademark goofy smiles. 

His teasing smile faded slightly, and he looked at her with an indescribable expression. 

“This is nice,” he said softly, his gaze warm. She felt a blush creep up her neck and she nodded distractedly, looking anywhere but him.

“I s’pose so,” she said, finally looking up at him shyly. He suddenly reached out from across the table and grasped her hand gently, his thumb absentmindedly stroking the soft skin of her palm. 

“How are you feeling? A bit drained?” he asked, concerned. She nodded lightly.

“Just mentally,” she said. He frowned and dropped her hand. 

“Rose,” he ventured, looking away briefly.

“Yeah?” she asked.

“I know that you have a lot of thoughts going on about what exactly this is between us,” he said, gesturing between the two of them.

“But, you should know that he wanted it to be this way. He knew you would need emotional support for when he would finally sever the bond,” he said, looking at Rose in empathy.

She sighed deeply and slumped in her chair.

“So you weren’t kidding? I’m dying, for real?” she asked, her voice small. He shook his head hurriedly and got up to take a seat next to her. He sat down before continuing.

“You’re not going to die, Rose, not while I’m here,” he said, pressing a kiss to her temple. She sighed against him and breathed deeply, savoring his slightly spiced scent. 

She couldn’t pinpoint how she felt, just that it felt like her brain was slowly bleeding out. She wished the pain would go away so that she could forget him, and finally move on from him. But she knew that the Doctor wasn’t any ordinary man. She couldn’t just go out for a night with her mates and drink to forget. It was much more complicated than that. They were properly in love, the both of them. Even though he never said it, she could tell by the way he looked at her, by the way he touched her. The way he gazed at her when he thought she wasn’t looking. The way he held onto her when he embraced her, and how sure his arms felt wrapped around her. The way he looked after she had almost died, on more than one occasion. Everything he did, everything he gave her, that’s how she knew. No, the Doctor was no ordinary man. Not even close. 

She acknowledged that the ache in her chest might never fade completely; it would always be the Doctor’s way of reminding her not to forget him completely. It would just have to be something she would deal with. Sometimes when she lie awake in bed at night she would clutch her chest, oddly comforted by the ever present ache. That little piece of him would always reside inside of her.

With tears flowing down her face, she turned to the Doctor and burrowed in his chest, wrapping her slim arms around his torso. Immediately, he embraced her equally as passionately, peppering the top of her head with kisses. 

“I…I…” she stuttered, looking up at him through wet lashes. He shushed her gently and laid her head back on his chest. He lowered his head to her ear.

“You don’t have to say it, Rose. Not unless you really mean it,” he said tightly. She shook slightly in his arms and nodded, her body wracking with her soft sobs. 

“Rose, Rose, Rose...,” he murmured, stroking her head. 

“It’ll be alright, really, it will,” he insisted. She raised her head to look up at him and smiled weakly.

“You always know what to do, Doctor,” she said, her eyes gleaming with tears. He felt a pang in his chest and his expression faltered. He covered up his grimace with an enthusiastic smile, gazing lovingly down at her. 

I don’t know anything anymore, he thought miserably.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfiction, so please be gentle! Writing this fan fiction has been a personal goal of mine. I'm not exactly sure about how many chapters I would like to post, but I'm thinking that each chapter should be around 2,000 words. I'm really excited to see where this goes!


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